Positive Parenting Guide Pdf – How I Chose Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Positive Parenting Guide Pdf
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mommy, I recognized that I wished to do things differently than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning handling power struggles, just how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure just what they learned in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, as well as a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to understand that, while no person is without fault, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I started checking out blog posts about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, harsh punishments as well as basically every other commonly accepted parenting technique.

I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs satisfied. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these ideas bring about healthy child development Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually experienced firsthand how being the “mean dad” might appear to work for the moment. Long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, anger as well as bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child partnership.

Considering his background and finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

Let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Overlooking major misbehavior

• Offering your children everything they ask for Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the reality that cooperation always produces much better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.

Moms and dads that adopt this concept have figured out how to promote:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard and valued

• Helping kids to establish self-discipline

• Going much deeper than mere external conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Here are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to encourage you to become the mama or father you have actually always intended to be, and also help your child to reach his/her full potential.

Find the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s often widely accepted (and also more common in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

However we can get a lot farther towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you and also me. And most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet developed. That means they can go from happy one minute to major meltdown the next. Rather than battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a primary emotion below it

• Many upset children are actually anxious and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that should be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s tough because you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The intent is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next example … Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we wish to obtain from our child, we should want to provide first. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and sarcastic to my teen merely due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or father, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your young adult that you value their point of view, and you respect them as a person. Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. But it does imply you can be kind despite disputes. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our teen to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …

Just recently, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the swiped sticker, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any individual to fix the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to solve disputes, as well as even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and also model the habits we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some visitors might be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and his two adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has started parenting positively too, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.

Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually changed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest any person who is serious about growing to be an extra positive mother or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting Guide Pdf

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the free class by clicking the button below. Positive Parenting Guide Pdf


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