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When I first became a mommy, I recognized that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best they could, but they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Parenting Handouts
There were a few books on our shelf about managing power struggles, how to discipline the strong-willed child, and just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m unsure exactly what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a challenging number of years. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to understand that, while no one is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Positive Parenting Handouts
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Positive Parenting Handouts
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing material about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, screaming, extreme punishments and also practically every other commonly accepted parenting strategy.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Handling power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these ideas lead to healthy and balanced child development Positive Parenting Handouts
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean father” could seem to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child connection.
Considering his history and finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Positive Parenting Handouts
Let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Overlooking major misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they want Positive Parenting Handouts
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the truth that collaboration consistently produces far better lasting results than forced control.
Parents that adopt this design have learned to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going deeper than mere outside conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s how I was raised, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parenting Handouts
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Discover the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep. It’s often widely accepted (as well as extra common in today’s world) to assume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
Yet we can progress a great deal farther toward solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and me. And also often times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Positive Parenting Handouts
For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete meltdown the next. Instead of fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is typically a primary feeling under it
• Many upset children are in fact anxious and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that must be addressed initially. For example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on addressing that large need initially.
• Empathize with his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really angry since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s difficult due to the fact that you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if required.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The point is to allow him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting helps all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following example … Positive Parenting Handouts
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to obtain from our child, we should be willing to provide before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult merely since I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or father, you can set the standard and communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as a person. Positive Parenting Handouts
This doesn’t imply you need to be a pushover. However it does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Positive Parenting Handouts
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just a few days ago, my two girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the swiped sticker label, apologized as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anybody to fix the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? Positive Parenting Handouts
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to deal with conflict, as well as even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, and also model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.
Some readers may be curious about my partner, Antonio, and also his two teen sons from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing except miraculous.
Exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting Handouts
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be tough to change your old parenting style. But bit by bit, you will make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually altered, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest any person who is serious about becoming a much more positive mama or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting Handouts
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her free class, Amy shares how to help kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parenting Handouts
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