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When I first became a mama, I understood that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best job they could, but they really did not have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Positive Parenting In Spanish
There were a couple of books on our shelf about managing power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they discovered in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a hard number of years. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to recognize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.Positive Parenting In Spanish
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Positive Parenting In Spanish
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I began reviewing blogs regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, screaming, extreme punishments and also basically every other typically accepted parenting method.
I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs met. I learned about:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these principles bring about healthy child development Positive Parenting In Spanish
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and had witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” might appear to help temporarily. Long-term, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his history as well as finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Positive Parenting In Spanish
Initially, let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking major misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they want Positive Parenting In Spanish
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the fact that cooperation consistently produces better lasting results than harsh control.
Parents who embrace this design have figured out how to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy limits
• Building a child’s foundational character qualities
• Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they don’t … Besides, what takes place once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-restraint
• Going much deeper than plain outward conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. Positive Parenting In Spanish
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s typically simpler (and much more typical in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
We can get a lot farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and also me. And frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Positive Parenting In Spanish
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. So instead of dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a main emotion beneath it
• Many mad children are in fact scared and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that should be met initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on addressing that big need first.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I recognize it’s tough due to the fact that you truly wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and growl. The intent is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s use teens in our following scenario … Positive Parenting In Spanish
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to get from our child, we need to be willing to give. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teenager merely because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or father, you can set the standard and communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, and you appreciate them as a person. Positive Parenting In Spanish
This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our teenager to treat us with more regard, the very first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Positive Parenting In Spanish
Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer service associate on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just a few days ago, my 2 daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged as well as begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten anybody to resolve the problem. And also yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Positive Parenting In Spanish
Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to fix conflict, and also even just how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.
Exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting In Spanish
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to transform your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve changed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise anyone that is serious about becoming an extra positive mommy or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting In Spanish
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parenting In Spanish
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.