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When I first came to be a mom, I recognized that I wished to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding managing power struggles, how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m uncertain what exactly they learned in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to understand that, while no person is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I started checking out blogs concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, severe punishments and also practically every other typically accepted parenting method.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs met. I learned about:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these concepts lead to healthy child development Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean father” might seem to help for the moment. In the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Given his history and also finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and applying positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
Let me inform you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children everything they ask for Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limitations
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the fact that collaboration always produces better long-term outcomes than forced control.
Parents that adopt this design have learned to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s foundational character and morals
• Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what takes place once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-discipline
• Going much deeper than mere external conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and screaming. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I simply had no framework for anything different. Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Right here are a number of the strategies Amy teaches to assist you to become the mother or father you have actually always intended to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her complete potential.
Find the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s usually much easier (and also extra usual in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a lot farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and also me. And also often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
As an example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from happy one minute to complete meltdown the next. So instead of fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a main feeling underneath it
• A lot of angry children are in fact frightened and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that need to be met first. As an example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.
• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re truly mad since I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s difficult because you really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The objective is to permit him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting helps every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s use teenagers in our next scenario … Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to receive from our child, we have to be prepared to provide. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my teen simply due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or father, you can set the example and also show your young adult that you value their opinion, as well as you respect them as a person. Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just recently, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anybody to fix the dispute. And also yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
Because we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to settle disputes, and also even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the actions we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and his 2 teen boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
Just how can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to transform your old ways. But bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe how much you’ve transformed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest any individual that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mommy or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her totally free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and also find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parenting In The Muslim Home Pdf
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