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When I first came to be a mom, I recognized that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best job they could, yet they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools offered today. Positive Parenting Online Class
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding managing power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a challenging period of time. And our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to recognize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Positive Parenting Online Class
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer Positive Parenting Online Class
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing blog posts concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, harsh punishments and also practically every other generally approved parenting strategy.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these concepts lead to healthy and balanced child development Positive Parenting Online Class
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” could seem to help for the moment. But long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, anger and also bitterness in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his history and also finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and implementing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Positive Parenting Online Class
Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding significant misbehavior
• Giving your children every little thing they want Positive Parenting Online Class
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limits
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the truth that collaboration always generates far better lasting outcomes than strict control.
Parents that adopt this concept have figured out how to promote:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than plain outside conformity and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s just how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. Positive Parenting Online Class
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Get to the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s often widely accepted (and also much more typical in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a whole lot farther toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs similar to you as well as me. And often times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Positive Parenting Online Class
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from joyful one moment to complete meltdown the next. So instead of combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-control to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a primary emotion underneath it
• The majority of angry children are actually frightened and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that have to be met initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.
• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s tough because you genuinely wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The intent is to allow him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our next example … Positive Parenting Online Class
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we wish to get from our child, we must be willing to provide before anyone else. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my teen just due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or father, you can set the standard and communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you respect them as an individual. Positive Parenting Online Class
This does not imply you need to be a pushover. But it does indicate you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the very first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Positive Parenting Online Class
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care rep on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and also she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the swiped sticker label, apologized as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten any person to solve the conflict. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Positive Parenting Online Class
Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to settle disputes, and even how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, and also model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his two adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
Exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting Online Class
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to transform your old parenting style. However little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you’ve altered, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I suggest any person who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mother or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting Online Class
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.
In her free class, Amy shares just how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parenting Online Class
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.