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When I initially came to be a mom, I understood that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they really did not have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Positive Parenting Phrases
There were a few books on our bookshelf about dealing with power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain what exactly they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a hard period of time. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to recognize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mama.Positive Parenting Phrases
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Positive Parenting Phrases
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I began reading material concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and practically every other traditionally accepted parenting strategy.
I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to have their needs met. I discovered:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these principles cause healthy and balanced child development Positive Parenting Phrases
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had experienced firsthand just how being the “mean father” may appear to work temporarily. In the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child connection.
Considering his history and learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Positive Parenting Phrases
First, let me tell you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children everything they ask for Positive Parenting Phrases
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that cooperation always produces better long-term outcomes than strict control.
Moms and dads who embrace this design have actually figured out how to promote:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Developing a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued
• Encouraging kids to grow their self-discipline
• Going deeper than mere exterior compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and screaming. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. Positive Parenting Phrases
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Here are a couple of the strategies Amy reveals to encourage you to become the mommy or daddy you have actually always intended to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her complete potential.
Find the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s commonly much easier (and also a lot more common in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
But we can progress a lot more towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs just like you and also me. And most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Positive Parenting Phrases
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet matured. That means they can go from delighted one moment to major meltdown the next. Instead of combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is always a primary feeling underneath it
• Most angry children are actually scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that should be met first. For example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on meeting that big need initially.
• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re really mad since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s hard because you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The intent is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting helps every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s use young adults in our next example … Positive Parenting Phrases
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we intend to obtain from our child, we should agree to offer before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, controlling and also sarcastic to my teen just due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or father, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your teen that you value their viewpoint, and you appreciate them as an individual. Positive Parenting Phrases
This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. However it does mean you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Positive Parenting Phrases
Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just recently, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, as well as she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anybody to solve the dispute. And yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? Positive Parenting Phrases
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to solve disputes, and also even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and also model the habits we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors may be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, and also his 2 teenage sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, as well as the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
So how can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting Phrases
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to transform your old parenting style. Yet little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you will not think just how much you’ve altered, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest anyone that is serious about becoming a more positive mama or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting Phrases
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and also learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parenting Phrases
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