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When I first came to be a mother, I recognized that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, but they didn’t have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning dealing with power struggles, how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure exactly what they found out in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a tough number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to recognize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mother.Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I started checking out blogs concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, screaming, extreme punishments and basically every other commonly approved parenting technique.
I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs satisfied. I found out about:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these ideas lead to healthy child development Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had experienced firsthand just how being the “mean father” might appear to work temporarily. But in the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Given his background and also discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
Let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Providing your children everything they want Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the reality that cooperation consistently produces far better lasting outcomes than forced control.
Parents that embrace this design have learned to foster:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they do not … Besides, what takes place when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-discipline
• Going deeper than simple exterior conformity and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Find the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s often widely accepted (and also a lot more common in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
But we can progress a lot farther toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs just like you as well as me. And also most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from happy one moment to major tantrum the next. Rather than fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is typically a primary emotion beneath it
• Many mad children are actually anxious and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that should be met initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that huge need first.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s tough because you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The intent is to allow him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s use young adults in our next scenario … Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to receive from our child, we have to be willing to provide. If I am rude, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult simply because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or dad, you can set the example as well as communicate to your teenager that you value their opinion, and you appreciate them as a person. Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teenager to treat us with more respect, the primary step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care associate on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …
Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, as well as she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any individual to fix the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to fix conflict, as well as even just how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, as well as model the actions we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be wondering about my other half, Antonio, as well as his 2 adolescent sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and also the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
So exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or two from now, you will not think just how much you have actually changed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest anybody that is serious about becoming a more positive mom or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, as well as find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Positive Parenting Quotes By Sudha Gupta
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