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When I initially became a mommy, I knew that I intended to do things differently than how I was raised. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools offered today. Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding managing power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, and just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they discovered in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, as well as a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a tough period of time. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to realize that, while no person is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing material about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also virtually every other traditionally approved parenting technique.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these concepts cause healthy child development Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” might appear to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, anger as well as bitterness in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Given his history as well as finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and following through with positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyway? Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding significant misbehavior
• Giving your children every little thing they ask for Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that collaboration consistently generates much better lasting outcomes than forced control.
Moms and dads that adopt this concept have actually learned to promote:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … After all, what occurs as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-discipline
• Going much deeper than mere external compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and screaming. That’s exactly how I was parented, and I simply had no framework for anything different. Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Discover the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep. It’s commonly widely accepted (and extra typical in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a great deal further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs just like you and me. And most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development spectrum. Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from joyful one moment to major meltdown the next. So as opposed to combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a key feeling below it
• Many upset children are in fact scared and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that should be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that large need first.
• Validate his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s tough since you really really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if required.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The point is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next example … Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to get from our child, we should be ready to provide. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my teenager simply due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or dad, you can set the example and communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
This does not imply you need to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …
Just a few days ago, my 2 young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker, apologized and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged as well as begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to deal with the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to resolve conflict, and also even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, and also model the actions we desire, you would be astonished at what’s possible.
Some readers may be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and his two adolescent sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has started parenting positively also, and also the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
Just how can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be tough to change your old parenting style. Yet little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or two from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually transformed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise anybody who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mommy or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, as well as find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the complimentary class by clicking the button below. Positive Parenting Solutions Free Webinar
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