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When I first came to be a mommy, I knew that I wanted to do things differently than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they really did not have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning dealing with power struggles, exactly how to discipline the strong-willed child, and exactly how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a tough period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to recognize that, while no person is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mama.Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I began reading material about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and basically every other commonly approved parenting method.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs met. I found out about:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these ideas cause healthy and balanced child development Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually seen firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could seem to benefit for the moment. However long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt and also resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Given his history as well as learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
Let me inform you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding major wrongdoing
• Providing your children every little thing they want Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no boundaries
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that cooperation consistently produces much better long-term outcomes than harsh control.
Moms and dads that embrace this design have actually learned to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Establishing healthy limits
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … After all, what occurs once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Assisting kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going much deeper than mere outward conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Find the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically easier (and also much more usual in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a whole lot farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you and me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
As an example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. So as opposed to dealing with a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a key emotion under it
• The majority of angry children are in fact frightened and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that must be met initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on addressing that big need initially.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re truly angry because I said we could not play at the park today. I recognize it’s difficult since you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into fists and also growl. The intent is to enable him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s use teenagers in our following example … Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we desire to receive from our child, we have to be ready to provide. If I am impolite, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teenager merely due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or father, you can set the example and also show your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you respect them as an individual. Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teenager to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer support rep on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …
Just recently, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the stolen sticker, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any individual to fix the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with disputes, as well as even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the habits we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and also his two teenage boys from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, and the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
Exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old parenting style. However little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not believe how much you have actually altered, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest anyone who is serious about coming to be a much more positive mother or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parenting Solutions Webinar
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