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When I first became a mommy, I recognized that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, but they didn’t have access to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Positive Parenting Worksheets
There were a couple of books on our shelf about handling power struggles, how to deal with the strong-willed child, and also how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m unsure what exactly they discovered in those books, but I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a great deal of just plain losing control.
It was a hard period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to realize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Positive Parenting Worksheets
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Positive Parenting Worksheets
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading material about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, screaming, severe punishments and also basically every other traditionally approved parenting technique.
I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these principles cause healthy and balanced child development Positive Parenting Worksheets
In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may seem to benefit temporarily. But in the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, anger as well as bitterness in what was intended to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Given his history as well as learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Positive Parenting Worksheets
Let me tell you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Providing your children whatever they ask for Positive Parenting Worksheets
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that collaboration always yields much better long-lasting results than strict control.
Parents who adopt this concept have figured out how to foster:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they do not … After all, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-control
• Going much deeper than mere outside conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also yelling. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parenting Worksheets
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Get to the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep. It’s typically easier (and much more typical in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
But we can progress a lot more toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you as well as me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Positive Parenting Worksheets
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete meltdown the next. So instead of fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is typically a main feeling underneath it
• Most upset children are really scared and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that have to be met first. For example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that huge need initially.
• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, so I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The intent is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our following example … Positive Parenting Worksheets
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to get from our child, we must be eager to give. If I am disrespectful, controlling and sarcastic to my teenager just due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or father, you can set the example as well as show your teen that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. Positive Parenting Worksheets
This does not mean you need to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Positive Parenting Worksheets
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just a few days ago, my 2 daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the swiped sticker, apologized and also requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate any person to fix the problem. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Positive Parenting Worksheets
Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to fix conflict, as well as even how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some readers might be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and also his two teen sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
So just how can you become a positive parent? Positive Parenting Worksheets
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be difficult to alter your old parenting style. But bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or more from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest anybody who is serious about becoming a much more positive mom or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Parenting Worksheets
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.
In her totally free class, Amy shares how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button below. Positive Parenting Worksheets
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.