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When I initially came to be a mother, I recognized that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best job they could, however they didn’t have access to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Positive Words For Parent
There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding dealing with power struggles, exactly how to control the strong-willed child, and exactly how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure exactly what they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a tough period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to understand that, while no person is without flaws, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Positive Words For Parent
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Positive Words For Parent
My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I started reviewing articles about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, screaming, severe punishments and also virtually every other generally accepted parenting strategy.
I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs satisfied. I discovered:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these principles result in healthy child development Positive Words For Parent
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” might seem to work for the moment. In the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his history and discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Positive Words For Parent
Let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring significant misbehavior
• Giving your children everything they ask for Positive Words For Parent
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the reality that collaboration always generates better long-term outcomes than forced control.
Parents that adopt this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries
• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Besides, what happens once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-control
• Going much deeper than simple outside compliance and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also screaming. That’s just how I was raised, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. Positive Words For Parent
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Here are a number of the techniques Amy reveals to assist you to evolve into the mother or daddy you have actually always wished to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her highest potential.
Get to the root of the misbehavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually simpler (as well as more common in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can progress a great deal further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you and me. And also most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Positive Words For Parent
For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from joyful one minute to major meltdown the next. So instead of battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is typically a main feeling under it
• A lot of mad children are really anxious and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that need to be met first. For example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that huge need initially.
• Empathize with his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s tough because you genuinely wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and also say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The objective is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s think about teens in our following example … Positive Words For Parent
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we wish to obtain from our child, we have to be willing to offer before anyone else. If I am discourteous, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult merely since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or dad, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and also you value them as a person. Positive Words For Parent
This doesn’t indicate you need to be a pushover. But it does mean you can be kind despite disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teen to treat us with even more respect, the primary step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Positive Words For Parent
Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just a few days ago, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate any person to resolve the problem. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Positive Words For Parent
Since we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to fix conflict, and also even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be curious about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two adolescent sons from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
So exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Positive Words For Parent
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not think just how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody who is serious about becoming a more positive mother or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Positive Words For Parent
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her products have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, as well as discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Positive Words For Parent
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.