Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Behave

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Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mama, I understood that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best job they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning managing power struggles, just how to control the strong-willed child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure just what they learned in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a difficult number of years. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to realize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I began reviewing blog posts concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, shouting, extreme punishments as well as basically every other commonly approved parenting strategy.

I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these concepts lead to healthy and balanced child development Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could seem to work for the moment. However in the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was expected to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Considering his background and also finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

Let me inform you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Offering your children every little thing they want Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the fact that cooperation always yields much better long-lasting results than strict control.

Moms and dads who embrace this concept have learned to promote:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s foundational character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they don’t … Besides, what happens once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-restraint

• Going deeper than simple outside conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also shouting. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Below are a number of the techniques Amy reveals to help you to evolve into the mama or daddy you’ve always wished to be, and help your child to reach his/her full potential.

Find the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s frequently much easier (and a lot more common in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

But we can progress a great deal further toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and me. And often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from cloud nine one minute to major meltdown the next. Rather than battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a key emotion underneath it

• Most upset children are in fact frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that need to be addressed first. As an example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that huge need first.

• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re really mad since I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s difficult because you truly wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The point is to allow him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s think about teens in our following example … Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to receive from our child, we must be willing to give first. If I am rude, controlling and also sarcastic to my teenager merely because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?

It is a lot easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example as well as communicate to your young adult that you value their opinion, and you respect them as an individual. Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

This does not imply you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teenager to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer care associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just the other day, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten anyone to resolve the conflict. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with disputes, and also even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and also model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, and the restoration of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

How can you come to be a positive parent? Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually transformed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest any individual who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mom or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, as well as learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button below. Potty Trained Child Having Accidents At School


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