Potty Training Accidents – How I Chose Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Potty Training Accidents
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mommy, I knew that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools readily available today. Potty Training Accidents

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf regarding handling power struggles, exactly how to discipline the stubborn child, and also just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure just what they found out in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a tough number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to understand that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Potty Training Accidents

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Potty Training Accidents

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I started reviewing blog posts concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, extreme punishments as well as virtually every other commonly approved parenting method.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How every one of these concepts bring about healthy and balanced child development Potty Training Accidents

Potty Training Accidents

Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually experienced firsthand just how being the “mean dad” may seem to work temporarily. But in the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was intended to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Considering his background as well as learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and applying positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Potty Training Accidents

Let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring significant wrongdoing

• Offering your children whatever they ask for Potty Training Accidents

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method identifies the reality that collaboration consistently yields far better long-term outcomes than strict control.

Moms and dads that embrace this design have figured out how to promote:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Developing a child’s foundational character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard and valued

• Helping kids to develop self-restraint

• Going deeper than plain outside compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also yelling. That’s how I was treated as a child, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Potty Training Accidents

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Here are a number of the strategies Amy shares to assist you to evolve into the mommy or daddy you have actually always wanted to be, and assist your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Find the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s commonly easier (as well as extra typical in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

But we can get a lot farther toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs just like you and also me. And frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Potty Training Accidents

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet matured. That means they can go from joyful one moment to complete meltdown the next. Rather than battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a key feeling beneath it

• Many upset children are really anxious and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that must be met first. For instance, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really mad due to the fact that I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s difficult because you truly really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The goal is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our following example … Potty Training Accidents

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to get from our child, we should be willing to provide before anyone else. If I am discourteous, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teenager merely due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or father, you can set the example as well as communicate to your teen that you value their viewpoint, as well as you appreciate them as a person. Potty Training Accidents

This doesn’t imply you need to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Potty Training Accidents

Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …

Just recently, my 2 girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and also she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the stolen sticker, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anybody to fix the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? Potty Training Accidents

Because we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to fix conflict, and even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his two teenage boys from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively too, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

How can you come to be a positive parent? Potty Training Accidents

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be tough to change your old parenting style. Yet gradually, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually changed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I suggest any individual who is serious about coming to be a much more positive mommy or dad to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Potty Training Accidents

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button below. Potty Training Accidents


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