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When I first became a mom, I understood that I wished to do things differently than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best they could, but they really did not have accessibility to the huge selection of positive parenting tools readily available today. Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about handling power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a hard number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to recognize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I started reading articles regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and basically every other traditionally accepted parenting method.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I discovered:
• Resolving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these principles cause healthy and balanced child development Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could appear to work for the moment. Long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Considering his background and also learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and employing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
First, let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking major misbehavior
• Offering your children whatever they want Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limitations
You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the truth that cooperation consistently yields better lasting results than harsh control.
Moms and dads that embrace this concept have learned to promote:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries
• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits
• Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued
• Assisting kids to establish self-control
• Going much deeper than plain outward compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as screaming. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Get to the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep. It’s typically much easier (and also more typical in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can get a great deal further toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and me. And also many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a main feeling beneath it
• A lot of mad children are really scared and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that need to be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that big need first.
• Validate his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry because I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult due to the fact that you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and say firmly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our following example … Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we wish to receive from our child, we have to want to provide first. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my teen just because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or father, you can set the example as well as show your young adult that you value their opinion, as well as you appreciate them as a person. Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind despite disputes. It will accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teenager to treat us with more regard, the primary step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer service representative on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just recently, my two girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anybody to resolve the problem. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to fix conflict, as well as even how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, and also model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors could be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and his two teen boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
So exactly how can you become a positive parent? Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be tough to alter your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I advise anyone that is serious about growing to be an extra positive mommy or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button below. Potty Training Regression 5 Year Old
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