Princess Etiquette – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Behave

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Princess Etiquette
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mama, I understood that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they didn’t have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools readily available today. Princess Etiquette

There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding dealing with power struggles, just how to control the strong-willed child, and also how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure what exactly they found out in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, as well as a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a tough number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to recognize that, while no person is perfect, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.Princess Etiquette

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Princess Etiquette

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing blogs regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, screaming, extreme punishments as well as pretty much every other typically accepted parenting strategy.

I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these ideas cause healthy and balanced child development Princess Etiquette

Princess Etiquette

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually experienced firsthand just how being the “mean father” could appear to help for the moment. Yet in the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, anger and also bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Given his background as well as finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Princess Etiquette

Let me tell you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Ignoring major wrongdoing

• Providing your children every little thing they want Princess Etiquette

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the truth that cooperation always generates much better lasting results than strict control.

Moms and dads that embrace this design have figured out how to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character and morals

Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and also valued

• Helping kids to establish self-discipline

• Going deeper than mere outward conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s just how I was parented, and I simply had no framework for anything different. Princess Etiquette

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Right here are a number of the techniques Amy reveals to assist you to evolve into the mother or father you’ve always wanted to be, and also help your child to reach his or her full potential.

Discover the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep. It’s typically easier (and also more typical in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

But we can get a lot further towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you and also me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Princess Etiquette

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to major meltdown the next. Rather than combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is always a primary feeling under it

• A lot of angry children are really anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that have to be met initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on addressing that huge need initially.

• Empathize with his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I recognize it’s hard because you really wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The objective is to permit him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everything in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our following scenario … Princess Etiquette

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to get from our child, we should be eager to provide. If I am discourteous, controlling and also sarcastic to my young adult merely due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or dad, you can set the standard as well as show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and you value them as a person. Princess Etiquette

This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. But it does suggest you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the very first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Princess Etiquette

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer service representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just recently, my two daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten anyone to deal with the problem. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Princess Etiquette

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to deal with conflict, and also even how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, as well as model the actions we desire, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, and also his two teenage sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

Exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Princess Etiquette

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old way of life. Yet gradually, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you won’t think just how much you’ve altered, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I advise anybody who is serious about becoming a much more positive mommy or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Princess Etiquette

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares just how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free class by clicking the button shown below. Princess Etiquette


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