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When I first became a mother, I knew that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they didn’t have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools offered today. Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
There were a few books on our shelf concerning dealing with power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure what exactly they learned in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a tough number of years. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to recognize that, while no person is perfect, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I started checking out material about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, severe punishments and pretty much every other typically accepted parenting method.
I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to have their needs met. I learned about:
• Solving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these ideas result in healthy child development Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could seem to benefit temporarily. But long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Considering his history and also finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
First, let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding major misbehavior
• Providing your children whatever they want Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limitations
You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that cooperation always yields far better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.
Parents who embrace this concept have actually learned to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy boundaries
• Developing a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Assisting kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going deeper than mere external compliance and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Below are a number of the methods Amy reveals to help you to evolve into the mother or father you have actually always wanted to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her complete potential.
Get to the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s typically easier (and a lot more usual in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
We can get a lot further toward solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs just like you and me. As well as frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete tantrum the next. So as opposed to fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a key feeling under it
• Many angry children are actually frightened and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that should be met initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on meeting that big need initially.
• Validate his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really mad due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s tough because you genuinely really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The intent is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following scenario … Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to receive from our child, we have to be willing to give first. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teenager simply due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or daddy, you can set the example and communicate to your young adult that you value their viewpoint, as well as you appreciate them as a person. Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
This doesn’t indicate you need to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind in the face of problems. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teen to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just the other day, my 2 girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten anyone to resolve the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
Since we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to resolve disputes, and also even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, as well as model the habits we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.
Some readers could be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, and also his 2 teen sons from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
So how can you become a positive parent? Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old ways. But gradually, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you won’t think how much you have actually altered, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest any person that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mother or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Reviews For Positive Parenting Solutions
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.