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When I initially came to be a mom, I knew that I intended to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best job they could, however they really did not have access to the variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Role Play Examples For Students
There were a few books on our bookshelf concerning handling power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they discovered in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a tough number of years. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to realize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.Role Play Examples For Students
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Role Play Examples For Students
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I began reading articles concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, harsh punishments and pretty much every other typically accepted parenting technique.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I learned about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these concepts cause healthy and balanced child development Role Play Examples For Students
During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” might appear to benefit temporarily. In the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Given his background as well as learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Role Play Examples For Students
Let me tell you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring major misbehavior
• Giving your children every little thing they ask for Role Play Examples For Students
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limitations
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the fact that cooperation consistently yields better long-lasting results than strict control.
Parents that adopt this concept have figured out how to promote:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … After all, what happens as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be listened to and valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-control
• Going deeper than mere outward compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and screaming. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. Role Play Examples For Students
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.
Get to the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often much easier (and also much more common in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a lot further toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs similar to you and also me. And frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Role Play Examples For Students
For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet developed. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a primary feeling below it
• A lot of upset children are in fact scared and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that must be addressed initially. For example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on addressing that large need initially.
• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really mad because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I recognize it’s hard due to the fact that you really wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The objective is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our next example … Role Play Examples For Students
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we desire to obtain from our child, we should be prepared to offer. If I am impolite, manipulative and also sarcastic to my young adult just since I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or dad, you can set the standard and communicate to your young adult that you value their point of view, as well as you value them as an individual. Role Play Examples For Students
This does not indicate you need to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Role Play Examples For Students
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just recently, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and also she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the stolen sticker, apologized and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate anyone to fix the problem. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Role Play Examples For Students
Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to fix conflict, and even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors may be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and his two teenage boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, and the restoration of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.
Exactly how can you become a positive parent? Role Play Examples For Students
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to alter your old way of life. But bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you will not think just how much you’ve transformed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise anyone that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mama or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Role Play Examples For Students
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.
In her totally free class, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button below. Role Play Examples For Students
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