Sharing Activities For Kids – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Sharing Activities For Kids
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mommy, I recognized that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best job they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Sharing Activities For Kids

There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding taking care of power struggles, just how to deal with the strong-willed child, and how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m unsure just what they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and a great deal of just plain tempers raging.

It was a challenging period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.Sharing Activities For Kids

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Sharing Activities For Kids

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I started checking out articles regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, extreme punishments and also basically every other typically accepted parenting technique.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs met. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these principles bring about healthy child development Sharing Activities For Kids

Sharing Activities For Kids

In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could appear to work temporarily. However long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Considering his background and also discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Sharing Activities For Kids

Let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Providing your children whatever they ask for Sharing Activities For Kids

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no limitations

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the truth that cooperation consistently yields much better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Moms and dads that adopt this design have figured out how to cultivate:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities

Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued

• Encouraging kids to establish self-restraint

• Going much deeper than simple external conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Sharing Activities For Kids

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Right here are a number of the techniques Amy reveals to encourage you to come to be the mama or dad you’ve always wanted to be, and also help your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Identify the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s usually simpler (and much more common in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

Yet we can get a great deal farther toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you and me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Sharing Activities For Kids

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete meltdown the next. Instead of combating a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a primary feeling under it

• A lot of mad children are really frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on addressing that huge need initially.

• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re really upset since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s difficult due to the fact that you truly wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The point is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s use teenagers in our next example … Sharing Activities For Kids

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to get from our child, we must be ready to offer. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen merely because I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard and also show your teenager that you value their opinion, and you appreciate them as an individual. Sharing Activities For Kids

This does not mean you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teenager to treat us with more respect, the primary step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Sharing Activities For Kids

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer service associate on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just the other day, my 2 girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any individual to solve the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Sharing Activities For Kids

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to fix disputes, as well as even how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, as well as model the actions we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some readers might be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and his two teenage sons from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.

So just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Sharing Activities For Kids

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to transform your old parenting style. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve changed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I recommend anyone who is serious about becoming an extra positive mother or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Sharing Activities For Kids

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button below. Sharing Activities For Kids


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