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When I initially came to be a mom, I knew that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning handling power struggles, how to control the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a challenging period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to understand that, while no person is without fault, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I began reading articles about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also basically every other typically accepted parenting technique.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to have their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these ideas result in healthy child development Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had experienced firsthand how being the “mean father” might appear to work for the moment. In the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Given his history and also discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
Let me inform you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Providing your children everything they want Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limitations
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the reality that cooperation consistently produces much better lasting results than strict control.
Moms and dads that adopt this concept have learned to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … Besides, what takes place once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to establish self-control
• Going much deeper than plain exterior compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s how I was raised, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Find the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep. It’s typically much easier (and also extra common in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can get a great deal more toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs much like you and also me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
As an example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from happy one minute to major meltdown the next. Rather than dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a primary emotion underneath it
• A lot of angry children are actually anxious and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that need to be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on addressing that huge need initially.
• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult due to the fact that you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a huge hug and say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The objective is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our following scenario … Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to obtain from our child, we have to be willing to provide before anyone else. If I am rude, manipulative and sarcastic to my teenager merely since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example and also communicate to your young adult that you value their opinion, and you value them as an individual. Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
This does not imply you need to be a pushover. But it does imply you can be kind when faced with conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our young adult to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care associate on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and also she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten any person to settle the problem. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to resolve conflict, as well as even just how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.
Some visitors could be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and his 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.
So just how can you become a positive parent? Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be tough to alter your old parenting style. But gradually, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise anybody who is serious about growing to be a much more positive mother or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her totally free class, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and also find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free webinar by clicking the button below. Strategies For 2 Year Old Hitting
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