Talk To The Tooth Fairy – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Listen

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Talk To The Tooth Fairy
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mama, I recognized that I wanted to do things differently than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best they could, but they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Talk To The Tooth Fairy

There were a few books on our shelf concerning dealing with power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure exactly what they found out in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and also a lot of just plain losing control.

It was a tough period of time. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to understand that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I came to be a mama.Talk To The Tooth Fairy

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Talk To The Tooth Fairy

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I started checking out articles regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and also pretty much every other typically approved parenting method.

I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs met. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these concepts bring about healthy child development Talk To The Tooth Fairy

Talk To The Tooth Fairy

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand how being the “mean dad” may appear to benefit temporarily. In the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Considering his history and learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Talk To The Tooth Fairy

First, let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking significant misbehavior

• Providing your children everything they ask for Talk To The Tooth Fairy

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the fact that cooperation always produces far better long-term results than strict control.

Moms and dads who adopt this design have figured out how to promote:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s foundational character traits

Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Besides, what happens once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Encouraging kids to grow their self-restraint

• Going deeper than simple exterior compliance and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s how I was treated as a child, and I simply had no framework for anything different. Talk To The Tooth Fairy

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Below are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to help you to become the mama or father you’ve always wanted to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her full potential.

Identify the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s commonly easier (as well as a lot more common in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal more towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you as well as me. And also many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Talk To The Tooth Fairy

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one minute to major meltdown the next. Instead of battling a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is typically a main emotion under it

• The majority of mad children are in fact frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that should be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that large need initially.

• Validate his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry since I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s tough since you really really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to permit him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our next example … Talk To The Tooth Fairy

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to receive from our child, we need to be eager to offer. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my young adult merely since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or daddy, you can set the standard and show your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and you appreciate them as a person. Talk To The Tooth Fairy

This does not imply you have to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Talk To The Tooth Fairy

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …

Just the other day, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, as well as she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate any person to fix the conflict. And also yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? Talk To The Tooth Fairy

Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to solve conflict, and also even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the actions we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some visitors might be wondering about my other half, Antonio, as well as his 2 adolescent sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.

How can you evolve to be a positive parent? Talk To The Tooth Fairy

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to alter your old way of life. Yet little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you won’t think how much you’ve altered, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I recommend any person who is serious about growing to be a much more positive mom or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Talk To The Tooth Fairy

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media channels. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and also find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button below. Talk To The Tooth Fairy


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