Please note: This post contains affiliate links.
When I initially came to be a mama, I recognized that I wanted to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they didn’t have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning dealing with power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, and exactly how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they discovered in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a tough period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to understand that, while no one is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mother.Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
My own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I began reviewing blog posts about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, yelling, severe punishments as well as practically every other traditionally approved parenting strategy.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs met. I discovered:
• Solving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” might seem to work for the moment. But in the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his background and learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
Let me tell you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking significant misbehavior
• Offering your children everything they ask for Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the reality that cooperation always produces far better long-term outcomes than forced control.
Parents that embrace this concept have learned to cultivate:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what takes place as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going much deeper than mere exterior compliance and focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Find the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep. It’s usually easier (and more usual in today’s world) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
However we can get a great deal more toward solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs just like you and me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet matured. That means they can go from happy one minute to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-control to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is always a key feeling below it
• The majority of mad children are actually scared and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be addressed first. For instance, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that huge need first.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re truly mad because I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard because you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The point is to enable him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s think about teens in our following example … Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to get from our child, we need to be ready to give. If I am rude, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teenager merely because I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or daddy, you can set the example as well as show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
This doesn’t imply you have to be a pushover. But it does mean you can be kind despite disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teen to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just the other day, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten any individual to fix the problem. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to solve conflict, and even how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, and model the actions we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some readers may be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and his 2 teenage sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
So how can you come to be a positive parent? Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to alter your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you have actually transformed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest any individual that is serious about becoming an extra positive mama or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her totally free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button below. Teach Baby To Fall Asleep On Own
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.