Three Year Old Whining – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Three Year Old Whining
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mama, I understood that I wished to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Three Year Old Whining

There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding dealing with power struggles, exactly how to deal with the stubborn child, and exactly how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, as well as a great deal of just plain tempers raging.

It was a hard number of years. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to realize that, while no person is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mother.Three Year Old Whining

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Three Year Old Whining

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I started reviewing material concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, extreme punishments as well as basically every other typically accepted parenting technique.

I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these ideas cause healthy child development Three Year Old Whining

Three Year Old Whining

In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique point of view. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had experienced firsthand how being the “mean father” may seem to help temporarily. Yet in the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, anger as well as bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Given his history as well as finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and also applying positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Three Year Old Whining

First, let me inform you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking significant wrongdoing

• Giving your children every little thing they want Three Year Old Whining

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the fact that collaboration consistently produces much better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Parents that embrace this concept have figured out how to cultivate:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities

Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what happens as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-control

• Going much deeper than simple outside conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. Three Year Old Whining

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Below are a number of the strategies Amy teaches to assist you to come to be the mother or father you’ve always wished to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Get to the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s typically much easier (and more common in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can get a lot further towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. And also most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Three Year Old Whining

For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet developed. That means they can go from happy one moment to complete tantrum the next. Rather than dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a primary emotion underneath it

• The majority of mad children are in fact anxious and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that need to be met initially. For example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that big need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re really angry because I said we could not play at the park today. I recognize it’s tough because you truly want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our next scenario … Three Year Old Whining

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to get from our child, we should be prepared to offer. If I am disrespectful, controlling and also sarcastic to my young adult simply due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the standard and communicate to your teenager that you value their opinion, and you appreciate them as a person. Three Year Old Whining

This does not indicate you need to be a pushover. Yet it does imply you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our teen to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Three Year Old Whining

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer care rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking about. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just the other day, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and also requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate any person to fix the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? Three Year Old Whining

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to solve disputes, as well as even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and also model the actions we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some visitors could be curious about my husband, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

How can you become a positive parent? Three Year Old Whining

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to transform your old ways. Yet gradually, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you have actually transformed, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I suggest any person who is serious about growing to be a more positive mom or dad to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Three Year Old Whining

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her products have been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button below. Three Year Old Whining


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