Toddler Bangs Head – Exactly How I Chose Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Toddler Bangs Head
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mom, I knew that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they really did not have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Toddler Bangs Head

There were a couple of books on our shelf about taking care of power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, and also just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m unsure exactly what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a difficult number of years. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to recognize that, while no one is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mom.Toddler Bangs Head

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Toddler Bangs Head

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I began checking out material about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and basically every other typically approved parenting method.

I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs met. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these principles bring about healthy and balanced child development Toddler Bangs Head

Toddler Bangs Head

Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could seem to help temporarily. However in the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Given his history and also finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also employing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? Toddler Bangs Head

Let me tell you what it does not indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Providing your children everything they ask for Toddler Bangs Head

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limits

You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the truth that collaboration consistently produces far better long-term results than strict control.

Moms and dads who embrace this concept have learned to cultivate:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities

Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Besides, what happens as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard and valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-restraint

• Going deeper than plain exterior compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and yelling. That’s just how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. Toddler Bangs Head

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Below are a couple of the techniques Amy shares to assist you to become the mother or daddy you have actually always wished to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Find the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep. It’s frequently widely accepted (as well as a lot more common in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

However we can get a whole lot more toward solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs just like you and me. And frequently their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Toddler Bangs Head

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet developed. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to combating a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a main feeling under it

• A lot of mad children are in fact anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that must be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on addressing that large need first.

• Validate his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re truly angry since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s tough due to the fact that you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if necessary.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands into fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s talk about teens in our next scenario … Toddler Bangs Head

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we desire to receive from our child, we must be eager to offer. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my teen just due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or dad, you can set the example as well as communicate to your teenager that you value their viewpoint, as well as you appreciate them as a person. Toddler Bangs Head

This does not imply you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Toddler Bangs Head

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just the other day, my 2 daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and also requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anyone to fix the dispute. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Toddler Bangs Head

Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to solve disputes, and even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and also his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and also the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

So just how can you come to be a positive parent? Toddler Bangs Head

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to change your old ways. However little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you will not think just how much you have actually altered, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I suggest anybody that is serious about growing to be a more positive mom or dad to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Toddler Bangs Head

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her free webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Toddler Bangs Head


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