Toddler Hitting His Head – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Toddler Hitting His Head
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mother, I knew that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they didn’t have access to the variety of positive parenting tools available today. Toddler Hitting His Head

There were a few books on our shelf about managing power struggles, exactly how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure just what they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a difficult number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Toddler Hitting His Head

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer Toddler Hitting His Head

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began checking out material regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also basically every other traditionally accepted parenting method.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How all of these ideas result in healthy child development Toddler Hitting His Head

Toddler Hitting His Head

Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different point of view. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had actually seen firsthand just how being the “mean dad” might appear to work for the moment. In the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was meant to be a loving parent-child connection.

Considering his history as well as discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Toddler Hitting His Head

Let me inform you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring major wrongdoing

• Offering your children every little thing they want Toddler Hitting His Head

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the truth that collaboration always yields far better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.

Parents who adopt this concept have actually figured out how to foster:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced limits

• Developing a child’s foundational character and morals

Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … After all, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued

• Helping kids to grow their self-control

• Going much deeper than simple exterior compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. Toddler Hitting His Head

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Right here are a couple of the techniques Amy shares to help you to come to be the mother or father you’ve always wished to be, and help your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Get to the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep. It’s commonly simpler (and more common in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

But we can get a lot farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you as well as me. And frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development spectrum. Toddler Hitting His Head

As an example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from happy one minute to major meltdown the next. Rather than combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a key feeling below it

• Most mad children are actually frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that should be addressed initially. For example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on addressing that big need first.

• Validate his emotions without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset because I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s hard due to the fact that you really want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The objective is to permit him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting helps any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following example … Toddler Hitting His Head

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to receive from our child, we need to be prepared to offer. If I am discourteous, manipulative and also sarcastic to my young adult merely because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your young adult that you value their point of view, as well as you respect them as an individual. Toddler Hitting His Head

This does not mean you have to be a pushover. But it does mean you can be kind despite conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teen to treat us with more regard, the first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Toddler Hitting His Head

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support rep on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …

Just the other day, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and returned the swiped sticker, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate any individual to fix the conflict. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Toddler Hitting His Head

Since we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to settle disputes, as well as even just how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some readers could be wondering about my other half, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively too, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

So how can you come to be a positive parent? Toddler Hitting His Head

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve changed, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I advise any person that is serious about growing to be a much more positive mama or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Toddler Hitting His Head

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.

In her cost-free class, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and also find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. Toddler Hitting His Head


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