Toddler Wont Stay In Bed – How I Used Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Listen

Please note: This post contains affiliate links.

Toddler Wont Stay In Bed
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mother, I understood that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best job they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

There were a few books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they found out in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a lot of just plain losing control.

It was a challenging number of years. And also our connection is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to understand that, while no one is perfect, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mama.Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I started reviewing blogs regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, yelling, severe punishments and basically every other typically accepted parenting method.

I started to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Handling power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these ideas cause healthy child development Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” might seem to work for the moment. Long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was expected to be a caring parent-child connection.

Considering his background as well as finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and employing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding major wrongdoing

• Providing your children whatever they want Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that cooperation always generates far better long-lasting results than forced control.

Parents that embrace this concept have actually figured out how to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Building a child’s foundational character qualities

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they do not … After all, what takes place once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-discipline

• Going deeper than mere external compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s how I was treated as a child, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Here are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to help you to become the mom or dad you have actually always wanted to be, and also encourage your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Get to the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often simpler (as well as a lot more common in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

We can progress a lot further towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you and also me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet developed. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one moment to major meltdown the next. So rather than fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a key feeling underneath it

• The majority of upset children are in fact anxious and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that have to be met first. For example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on addressing that large need first.

• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really upset since I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s hard since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The intent is to allow him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our next example … Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to receive from our child, we should be eager to provide. If I am impolite, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teenager merely due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard as well as show your teen that you value their opinion, and you respect them as an individual. Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

This doesn’t indicate you need to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teenager to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just a few days ago, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anybody to solve the dispute. And also yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with conflict, as well as even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, and also model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two teen sons from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.

So exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be difficult to change your old parenting style. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or two from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually transformed, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend any individual that is serious about becoming an extra positive mommy or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Toddler Wont Stay In Bed

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her materials have been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button below. Toddler Wont Stay In Bed


Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

error: Content is protected !!