Toddlers Routine Schedule – How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Behave

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Toddlers Routine Schedule
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mama, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best job they could, however they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. Toddlers Routine Schedule

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about managing power struggles, exactly how to discipline the stubborn child, and just how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure just what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, as well as a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a hard period of time. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to realize that, while no one is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mama.Toddlers Routine Schedule

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Toddlers Routine Schedule

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading blogs about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, screaming, severe punishments and practically every other typically approved parenting strategy.

I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs met. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these principles bring about healthy child development Toddlers Routine Schedule

Toddlers Routine Schedule

In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may appear to help for the moment. However in the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger and also bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.

Given his background and learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Toddlers Routine Schedule

Let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Providing your children everything they want Toddlers Routine Schedule

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no boundaries

You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the fact that collaboration always generates far better long-lasting results than strict control.

Parents who embrace this concept have actually figured out how to promote:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced limits

• Building a child’s foundational character qualities

Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they do not … After all, what takes place as soon as they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and valued

• Helping kids to establish self-restraint

• Going much deeper than plain exterior conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Toddlers Routine Schedule

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Here are a number of the methods Amy reveals to help you to come to be the mom or father you have actually always intended to be, and assist your child to reach his or her full potential.

Discover the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s commonly much easier (as well as much more usual in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a great deal more towards solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs similar to you and me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Toddlers Routine Schedule

For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete tantrum the next. So instead of dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a main feeling underneath it

• Most upset children are in fact frightened and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that have to be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on meeting that big need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s difficult since you really want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to allow him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and also everything in between. So let’s use young adults in our following scenario … Toddlers Routine Schedule

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we intend to receive from our child, we need to be willing to provide before anyone else. If I am impolite, controlling and also sarcastic to my teen merely due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or daddy, you can set the standard and communicate to your teenager that you value their viewpoint, as well as you value them as a person. Toddlers Routine Schedule

This does not mean you need to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind when faced with problems. It will accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with more respect, the very first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Toddlers Routine Schedule

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just a few days ago, my two daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten any person to deal with the problem. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Toddlers Routine Schedule

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to settle disputes, and even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, and also model the actions we desire, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be curious about my other half, Antonio, as well as his two adolescent boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has started parenting positively too, and the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

Exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Toddlers Routine Schedule

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be difficult to alter your old way of life. However bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend any individual that is serious about becoming a more positive mommy or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Toddlers Routine Schedule

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button below. Toddlers Routine Schedule


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