Please note: This post contains affiliate links.
When I first came to be a mommy, I understood that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they really did not have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools offered today. Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding handling power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, and also just how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m not sure what exactly they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a challenging number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to recognize that, while no person is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mama.Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading articles about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and also virtually every other typically accepted parenting strategy.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs fulfilled. I found out about:
• Managing power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these principles result in healthy and balanced child development Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may seem to benefit for the moment. Long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and also resentment in what was meant to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Considering his background and also finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
First, let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding significant wrongdoing
• Offering your children every little thing they want Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the truth that collaboration always produces better long-lasting results than harsh control.
Parents that adopt this design have figured out how to promote:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character traits
• Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-restraint
• Going much deeper than mere external compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s just how I was raised, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Get to the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically simpler (and more common in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can get a lot further towards solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and also me. And also most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from delighted one minute to major tantrum the next. So instead of dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-control to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a main feeling below it
• The majority of angry children are in fact scared and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that need to be met initially. For instance, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that big need initially.
• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re really mad since I said we could not play at the park today. I recognize it’s hard since you truly wish to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The point is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our following scenario … Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we intend to receive from our child, we must want to offer before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply because I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your teen that you value their point of view, as well as you respect them as an individual. Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
This doesn’t imply you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just a few days ago, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, as well as she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate anyone to fix the conflict. And also yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to fix disputes, as well as even how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.
Some visitors could be curious about my other half, Antonio, and his 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
Just how can you become a positive parent? Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to transform your old way of life. Yet gradually, you will make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you will not think how much you’ve changed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I advise any individual that is serious about becoming a much more positive mommy or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her products have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her totally free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Triple P Positive Parenting Program Pdf
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.