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When I first became a mother, I recognized that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the huge selection of positive parenting tools available today. Triple P Positive Parenting Program
There were a few books on our shelf concerning handling power struggles, how to control the stubborn child, and also how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m not sure what exactly they learned in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, and also a great deal of just plain tempers raging.
It was a challenging number of years. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve begun to recognize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.Triple P Positive Parenting Program
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Triple P Positive Parenting Program
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I began reviewing blogs about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also pretty much every other commonly accepted parenting method.
I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs satisfied. I found out about:
• Handling power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these ideas cause healthy child development Triple P Positive Parenting Program
During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually experienced firsthand how being the “mean father” may seem to help temporarily. Long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Given his background and discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyway? Triple P Positive Parenting Program
Let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Giving your children whatever they want Triple P Positive Parenting Program
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no boundaries
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the reality that collaboration consistently yields better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.
Moms and dads that embrace this concept have learned to promote:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits
• Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … Besides, what takes place once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-control
• Going deeper than mere external compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Triple P Positive Parenting Program
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Find the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep. It’s commonly easier (and a lot more typical in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
But we can progress a lot further toward solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs much like you and me. And also most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. Triple P Positive Parenting Program
For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete tantrum the next. Rather than fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a key feeling beneath it
• Most angry children are really frightened and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that should be addressed first. For example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that large need initially.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s hard because you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The point is to allow him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following example … Triple P Positive Parenting Program
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we wish to obtain from our child, we have to agree to provide before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen simply because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or father, you can set the example and also show your teen that you value their viewpoint, and you respect them as an individual. Triple P Positive Parenting Program
This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. Yet it does mean you can be kind despite disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with more respect, the very first step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Triple P Positive Parenting Program
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged as well as started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any person to settle the conflict. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Triple P Positive Parenting Program
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to solve disputes, and even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors might be wondering about my other half, Antonio, and his two teenage boys from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, as well as the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
How can you become a positive parent? Triple P Positive Parenting Program
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to alter your old parenting style. Yet little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve transformed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I suggest anyone who is serious about coming to be a much more positive mama or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Triple P Positive Parenting Program
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her free class, Amy shares how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button below. Triple P Positive Parenting Program
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