Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Behave

Please note: This post contains affiliate links.

Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mommy, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best job they could, however they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning taking care of power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, and exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure exactly what they learned in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain tempers raging.

It was a difficult period of time. And our connection is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to recognize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my solution Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing blogs concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and also virtually every other commonly approved parenting method.

I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Handling power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these principles result in healthy and balanced child development Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may appear to work for the moment. Long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child connection.

Given his history and also discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

Let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding significant misbehavior

• Providing your children whatever they want Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the reality that collaboration consistently yields much better lasting outcomes than strict control.

Parents that adopt this design have figured out how to cultivate:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what takes place once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and valued

• Encouraging kids to establish self-control

• Going much deeper than simple exterior conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as screaming. That’s just how I was raised, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Right here are a couple of the techniques Amy reveals to assist you to evolve into the mommy or daddy you’ve always wanted to be, as well as assist your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Discover the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s frequently simpler (as well as much more typical in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

However we can get a whole lot farther toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you as well as me. And also often times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from joyful one minute to complete tantrum the next. Instead of dealing with a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a primary emotion beneath it

• Many upset children are in fact frightened and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that have to be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that large need first.

• Validate his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s tough since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if required.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The objective is to allow him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s think about young adults in our next scenario … Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we intend to get from our child, we should agree to offer first. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my teen just due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your teenager that you value their opinion, as well as you respect them as an individual. Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

This doesn’t imply you need to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teen to treat us with even more respect, the primary step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer service associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just recently, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anyone to deal with the problem. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

Since we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to fix disputes, as well as even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with every person around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be wondering about my other half, Antonio, and also his 2 teen boys from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.

Exactly how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be difficult to change your old ways. Yet little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve transformed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest anyone that is serious about growing to be an extra positive mom or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as discover how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the cost-free class by clicking the button shown below. Until I See Peaceful Paths To Parenting Children With Special Needs


Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

error: Content is protected !!