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When I first became a mommy, I understood that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools readily available today. Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning dealing with power struggles, just how to control the strong-willed child, and how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m unsure just what they found out in those books, but I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a hard period of time. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to understand that, while no one is without fault, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I became a mama.Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
My own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I began reviewing blogs regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, severe punishments as well as pretty much every other commonly approved parenting technique.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs satisfied. I learned about:
• Solving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these concepts result in healthy and balanced child development Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may appear to benefit temporarily. In the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his background as well as learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and also employing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
Let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring major misbehavior
• Offering your children whatever they want Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the truth that cooperation consistently generates far better long-term outcomes than forced control.
Parents who embrace this design have actually learned to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they do not … After all, what occurs once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is removed?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going deeper than plain external conformity and focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s just how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Right here are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to encourage you to come to be the mama or daddy you have actually always wished to be, as well as help your child to reach his or her complete potential.
Get to the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s frequently much easier (as well as much more typical in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a lot further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs just like you and me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
For instance, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet formed. That means they can go from delighted one minute to major tantrum the next. So as opposed to fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is typically a main feeling beneath it
• The majority of mad children are actually scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that should be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that big need initially.
• Validate his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s difficult because you really wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting helps every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following scenario … Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to obtain from our child, we need to be willing to give. If I am impolite, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teen just because I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the standard and show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and you value them as a person. Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teenager to treat us with even more respect, the primary step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer support rep on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just a few days ago, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anybody to deal with the problem. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to deal with conflict, and even just how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors may be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and his 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has started parenting positively also, and the repair of their connection is nothing except miraculous.
So how can you come to be a positive parent? Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be tough to change your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.
I suggest anybody that is serious about growing to be a more positive mom or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her totally free class, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button below. Weaning A Toddler From Breastfeeding
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.