What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Cooperate

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What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mommy, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the huge selection of positive parenting tools available today. What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding handling power struggles, just how to control the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain just what they found out in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a lot of just plain losing control.

It was a challenging number of years. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually begun to realize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I started reading articles concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, yelling, severe punishments and pretty much every other commonly accepted parenting strategy.

I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs met. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these ideas bring about healthy child development What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may seem to help temporarily. In the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child connection.

Given his history as well as discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

Initially, let me tell you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Ignoring significant wrongdoing

• Providing your children every little thing they want What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You might hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the reality that collaboration always generates better lasting results than harsh control.

Moms and dads who adopt this design have figured out how to foster:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character qualities

Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear retribution if they don’t … After all, what happens when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-restraint

• Going deeper than simple exterior conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.

Here are a number of the methods Amy teaches to help you to become the mom or daddy you have actually always wished to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her full potential.

Get to the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically widely accepted (and also more typical in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can progress a lot farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs just like you and me. And also most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from joyful one moment to complete tantrum the next. So rather than combating a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a key emotion underneath it

• A lot of upset children are in fact frightened and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that should be addressed first. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Concentrate on meeting that large need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really upset because I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard since you really wish to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The intent is to enable him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s use teens in our next scenario … What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to get from our child, we need to be willing to offer. If I am disrespectful, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult merely since I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the example as well as show your young adult that you value their opinion, and you appreciate them as a person. What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

This doesn’t imply you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer care representative on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just a few days ago, my 2 daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and also she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also begun playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten anyone to fix the problem. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, how to resolve conflict, and also even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.

Some readers may be curious about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two teenage boys from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, and also the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.

So exactly how can you become a positive parent? What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not believe how much you’ve changed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest any person that is serious about growing to be a more positive mommy or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.

In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. What Age Can Kids Stay Home Alone


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