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When I initially became a mom, I knew that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding dealing with power struggles, just how to deal with the strong-willed child, and just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they learned in those books, but I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a difficult number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to realize that, while no person is perfect, it is our responsibility to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mommy.What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I started reading material about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and basically every other generally accepted parenting strategy.
I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs satisfied. I learned about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these concepts result in healthy and balanced child development What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” might appear to help for the moment. Long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Considering his history and discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and also employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
Initially, let me tell you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Offering your children everything they want What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the fact that cooperation always yields far better lasting outcomes than forced control.
Moms and dads who adopt this concept have actually learned to foster:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s foundational character and morals
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they don’t … Besides, what occurs as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and valued
• Encouraging kids to grow their self-discipline
• Going deeper than simple external conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.
Find the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s commonly simpler (and also much more common in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can get a whole lot farther towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you as well as me. And also often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
For instance, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet developed. That means they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete meltdown the next. Rather than fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a main emotion underneath it
• Many angry children are actually frightened and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be met first. For instance, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on addressing that big need initially.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad since I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s tough due to the fact that you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The point is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s use young adults in our next example … What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to receive from our child, we have to be willing to give. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and also sarcastic to my young adult simply due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or father, you can set the standard as well as show your teen that you value their opinion, as well as you appreciate them as a person. What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
This doesn’t suggest you need to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teen to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care associate on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just the other day, my 2 daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, as well as she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and also requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate anyone to fix the conflict. And also yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to fix conflict, as well as even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everybody around us with respect, and model the actions we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.
Some readers could be curious about my other half, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
How can you come to be a positive parent? What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to change your old ways. Yet little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you will not think how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest any person that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mama or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her products have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her totally free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button below. What Are Ways To Stop Your Child From Bad Behavior At School
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