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When I first came to be a mommy, I recognized that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best job they could, but they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning handling power struggles, how to control the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure exactly what they found out in those books, however I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a tough number of years. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to realize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading material concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, screaming, severe punishments and pretty much every other generally accepted parenting technique.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs met. I learned about:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these principles bring about healthy and balanced child development What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could seem to help for the moment. Long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Given his background as well as discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and also employing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
Initially, let me inform you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Giving your children every little thing they want What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the fact that collaboration consistently generates better long-term results than strict control.
Parents that embrace this design have actually learned to promote:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character and morals
• Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-restraint
• Going much deeper than mere outside compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as screaming. That’s how I was raised, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Discover the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep. It’s commonly simpler (and much more usual in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can get a lot further towards solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs just like you and also me. And most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from joyful one minute to major meltdown the next. So as opposed to combating a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a main emotion under it
• Many upset children are really anxious and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that have to be met first. As an example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that huge need initially.
• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really angry since I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s tough because you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and growl. The point is to enable him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our next scenario … What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we intend to get from our child, we need to want to give before anyone else. If I am rude, manipulative and sarcastic to my teenager just due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or dad, you can set the standard and show your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you value them as a person. What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
This doesn’t indicate you need to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer service representative on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just recently, my 2 daughters were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and also returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten any individual to settle the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to deal with disputes, as well as even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and also model the habits we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.
Exactly how can you become a positive parent? What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to transform your old way of life. But gradually, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve changed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest any person that is serious about coming to be a more positive mother or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button below. What Is An Important Aspect For Toddlers That Parents Can Provide?
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