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When I first became a mom, I understood that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they really did not have accessibility to the huge selection of positive parenting tools readily available today. What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding handling power struggles, just how to deal with the strong-willed child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a tough number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to realize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I started reviewing articles about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, screaming, severe punishments as well as practically every other commonly accepted parenting method.
I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these principles cause healthy child development What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could appear to help for the moment. However in the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and also resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Considering his history as well as finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
Let me tell you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Overlooking significant wrongdoing
• Offering your children everything they want What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method identifies the truth that cooperation consistently generates much better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.
Moms and dads who embrace this concept have figured out how to promote:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they do not … Besides, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and valued
• Assisting kids to grow their self-control
• Going deeper than mere exterior compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Below are a number of the strategies Amy teaches to assist you to evolve into the mother or dad you have actually always wanted to be, as well as assist your child to reach his or her highest potential.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s typically simpler (and much more typical in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a great deal more towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs just like you and me. And many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
For instance, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from happy one moment to major meltdown the next. So rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is typically a primary feeling below it
• Many mad children are actually scared and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that should be met initially. For example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on addressing that big need first.
• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really mad due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s difficult due to the fact that you really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if needed.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The point is to permit him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s use teenagers in our following example … What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to get from our child, we have to be prepared to offer. If I am discourteous, manipulative and sarcastic to my teen just because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or father, you can set the example and show your teenager that you value their point of view, and you appreciate them as a person. What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
This does not indicate you have to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just a few days ago, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and also returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anyone to settle the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
Since we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to solve conflict, as well as even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the actions we desire, you would be amazed at what’s possible.
Some readers could be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and also his 2 teenage sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.
So how can you come to be a positive parent? What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be difficult to alter your old way of life. But gradually, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest any individual that is serious about coming to be a more positive mommy or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. What To Feed 2 Year Old Picky Eater
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.