Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Behave

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Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mom, I understood that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

There were a few books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, and how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure exactly what they found out in those books, but I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and also a lot of just plain losing control.

It was a hard number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to understand that, while no person is without fault, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to break the cycle when I came to be a mother.Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest child was born. I started reviewing articles concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, severe punishments and basically every other traditionally approved parenting technique.

I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Handling power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these concepts cause healthy and balanced child development Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could appear to help for the moment. Long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, anger and resentment in what was expected to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Given his background as well as learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and employing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

Let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Offering your children whatever they want Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the truth that cooperation always yields much better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Moms and dads that adopt this concept have actually figured out how to promote:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities

Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they do not … Besides, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued

• Encouraging kids to grow their self-restraint

• Going deeper than plain outward conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as shouting. That’s how I was raised, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Below are a couple of the methods Amy reveals to assist you to evolve into the mom or dad you’ve always intended to be, and also encourage your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Find the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep. It’s usually simpler (as well as extra common in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

However we can progress a great deal farther towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you and also me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from delighted one moment to major tantrum the next. So as opposed to dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is always a key feeling underneath it

• Most upset children are really anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that must be addressed first. For example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that large need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re really angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard since you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if required.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The point is to allow him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s use teens in our next scenario … Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we intend to obtain from our child, we need to want to offer before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, controlling and also sarcastic to my young adult simply due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your teen that you value their opinion, and you appreciate them as an individual. Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

This does not mean you have to be a pushover. It does indicate you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …

Just recently, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the swiped sticker, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also begun playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten anybody to settle the problem. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with conflict, and even just how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, and also model the habits we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be curious about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 adolescent boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively as well, and the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

So how can you become a positive parent? Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old ways. But bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not think just how much you’ve transformed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest anyone that is serious about growing to be a much more positive mommy or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the complimentary class by clicking the button below. Why Do Babies Cry When Changing Diapers


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