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When I initially came to be a mother, I recognized that I wanted to do things differently than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the very best they could, however they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools offered today. Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
There were a couple of books on our shelf about handling power struggles, exactly how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m unsure exactly what they found out in those books, but I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a hard number of years. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to recognize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I became a mommy.Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I started checking out articles about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as basically every other typically accepted parenting method.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I learned about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these concepts bring about healthy child development Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had experienced firsthand how being the “mean dad” could seem to work temporarily. But in the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, anger and resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Considering his history and also finding out exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
Let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding major misbehavior
• Offering your children whatever they ask for Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the truth that collaboration always yields better long-term results than strict control.
Parents who embrace this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they don’t … Besides, what happens when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard as well as valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than plain exterior compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s usually easier (and more common in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
Yet we can get a whole lot farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you and me. And often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from joyful one minute to complete meltdown the next. Rather than dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a key emotion underneath it
• The majority of angry children are in fact scared and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that should be addressed first. For example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that large need initially.
• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re really upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s difficult since you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following example … Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to obtain from our child, we need to want to offer first. If I am impolite, controlling and also sarcastic to my teenager simply due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or dad, you can set the example as well as show your teen that you value their point of view, and also you value them as a person. Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
This does not mean you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support representative on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back and returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged as well as begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate anybody to resolve the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to resolve conflict, as well as even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, and also model the actions we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors may be wondering about my husband, Antonio, as well as his two adolescent boys from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, and also the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
So exactly how can you become a positive parent? Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be hard to change your old way of life. Yet bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually transformed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I recommend any individual who is serious about becoming an extra positive mom or dad to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her totally free webinar, Amy shares just how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and also learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button below. Why Is Positive Parenting Important Scholarly Articles
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.